I’ve had a soft spot for amusement parks ever since my first encounter with Disneyland back in the summer of 1973. You know the one—where the popcorn was cheaper, the lines were shorter, and my socks still had elastic. Ideally, I’d always be in those whimsical worlds, soaking up the atmosphere and frantically calculating whether I can afford one more overpriced souvenir. But with ticket prices now rivaling the GDP of a small country, I’ve found an affordable loophole: the glorious realm of theme park computer games.

 These days, my thrill-seeking takes place in a tiny studio powered by imagination, caffeine, and questionable decisions. Sure, there’s no real popcorn scent wafting through the air, but virtual funnel cakes don’t add to your cholesterol—and best of all, no standing in eternal queues behind a guy who smells like a perfume aisle crash-landed into a Bluetooth headset. Not that I’m speaking from experience. Probably.

So grab your pixelated sunscreen and join me as we design death-defying coasters, unleash hilariously impractical park layouts, and laugh our way through every simulated splash zone. The sun never sets on this fun factory… or at least that is the case when I forget to turn on the in-game day-night cycle.